Sunday, February 28, 2016

Taking Notice

Monday

  • Snowdrops have been blooming off and on since mid-January, so they are hardly a reliable indicator of spring.  It’s been a mild winter with rare intense seasonal episodes.  Yet suddenly vernal equinox is only one month away, so a previous anomaly may become an omen.  Soon it will be apparent if early shoots of bulbs and buds on trees _ unprotected by snowdrifts_ were destroyed in a record cold snap.
  • Last year’s harsh weather led to a late and concentrated awakening _ everything suddenly flowering at once and shriveling in heat immediately thereafter.  I think this year may be a more gradual series of waves flowing uninterrupted from late winter through early, mid, and late spring right into early summer.  I’ve been known to be wrong _ so I shall try to pay particular notice to what shows up when.  No matter what, I’m sure it will be worth watching closely.  
Tuesday
Homage to The Cloud

“I am the daughter of Earth and Water
And the nursling of the Sky”
Poetry flowing incredibly knowing
Beckoning me to try

But Shelley’s a genius, a gulf lies between us
I can’t write like that, we know
His visions are sweeter, I envy his meter
Mere wishing won’t make me so.

If I could but borrow his skills for one morrow
Perhaps create something which gleams
To craft a fine phrase which might thrill and amaze
Nice having impossible dreams
Wednesday
  • Catkins arrive this time of year regardless of outside conditions.  They are a kind of “save this date” reminder that something marvelous will be arriving in the future.  Often they have fluffed out and disappeared before any significant foliage opens. 
  • I admit that I sometimes prowl seeking something specific.  Such focused concentration unfortunately reduces my chances for serendipity.  A loud noise, a strong smell, an extravagant display may break through my reverie to reignite my complicated, marvelous experience, understanding, and enjoyment.  Otherwise I wander half-blinded by my thoughts.
Thursday
“I see where you’re writing about noticing things,” says Ed, coming up behind me on the beach.  I’m marveling at the full moon high tide as waves begin to develop angrily in the raw north wind.  A duck rides them out unperturbed.
“Confess it’s true,” I reply noncommittally.   “Lately need a topic _ any topic _ to kick this old brain into gear every day.”
“Ok, but do you mean to notice the big things or the little things?”
“Both, I guess.  You have examples?”
“Big things the length of day, the warming air.  Little things garlic clumps and chickweed flowers.”
“Haven’t seen any chickweed yet …”
“You get the idea.  So which is really important?” he insists.
“Both.  Both.  The universe is all connected and …”
“Oh, you’re one of those guys,” he waves dismissively.  “Why not notice decaying logs and rocks which have been sitting around doing nothing for the last few years?  ‘Everything’ is basically nothing.”
“Whoa!  I like my brain in gear, but not this much!  I didn’t expect the Spanish Inquisition.”
We both laugh and chorus loudly “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!”
That startles the poor little duck which takes off away from the rising gale.  Fittingly, it has finally noticed us.
Friday
  • Pines depend on wind for pollination _ in arrogance science labels that “primitive” although they’ve been around longer than the flowering plants.  They need not wait for insects and simply rely on seasonal breezes to waft fertilization.  Then they produce seed-bearing cones over summer, dispersed by birds in fall, and require a few surviving seedlings available for spring rains.
  • In point of fact, this year I have already noticed insect activity.  Of course, what I see of flights of gnats or flies is only an infinitesimal showing of vast unseen activity.  Termites and ants are rousing underground and in vegetation, bees have been busily fanning hives warm all winter, who knows what else strives beneath and around me.  Anytime I think I am noticing everything, I can be humbled to realize how crude my senses and understanding really are.
Saturday
  • Our thoughts revolve around pattern creation, matching, and recognition.  If something fulfills a pattern, we are pleased.  If something does not match what we expect, we are surprised, for better or worse.  Fortunately, we are often so dominant in our environment that many surprises make us joyful enough to encourage curiosity.
  • What happens when I expect rain and find snow?  When I confidently seek signs of awakening spring and discover only desolation?  That’s the trouble with being too attached to preconceptions.  On my walk, I must be able to shift from, say, a naturalist perspective (buds are swelling) to one of an artist (aren’t the bare outlined branches lovely.)  Or anything else I choose.
  • Nobody can predict everything nor notice more than a fraction of what exists.  Even one seashell, one other person, provides more than enough basis for meditation to last hours or days.  If we could predict all, we would literally die of boredom.  Maybe that’s what happens to any god.
  • Proper balance is hard to achieve.  It is necessary to wear patterns strongly enough to be pleased when they come true, lightly enough to be happily surprised if they don’t.  The best observers and scientists utilize surprises to better understand what they think they know.
  •  For me, being surprised by noticing things is less utilitarian.  Rather it is a method to remain engaged and happy _ the word often invoked is “enchanted” _ with all I encounter, no matter how well it matches my particular transient expectation.
Sunday
  • Incoming water in cold tidal marsh.  Nothing to see here _ empty carapaces of horseshoe crabs, dead reed mats woven together as if by demented artisans,  ubiquitous fragments of garbage, and mud, mud, mud.  Ospreys have not returned to nesting poles high overhead, egrets are wherever egrets go when it is thirty degrees, even seagulls are over on the other side of the causeway.  Brown and black, tones as monotonous as the vestibule of Hades.  Wet organic decay is the only, hesitant, smell.  Sounding occasionally over persistent low murmur of seabreeze is the deep hissing rush of car tires as people race to warm restaurants and shopping experiences.
  • I have forced myself here precisely because I never do.  I am usually in one of those hermetically sealed vehicles, eyes glued forward, mind racing ahead to where I am going.  Desolate scenes do not appear in National Geographic, nature documentaries, nor any newspaper unless there is a motionless body involved.  Yet this too is the world, nature, as integral to our universal miracle as any dandified gaudy flower bursting forth in a few months.  Winter marshland does not lack unique marvels _ I have just been sadly unable to notice them.











Sunday, February 21, 2016

Brilliant

Monday
  • Surprisingly quickly, the darkest days of winter are just memories.  The sun rises early, sets in evening instead of afternoon, and is brilliant and blinding at high noon.  Somehow the snow has remained white for the last week, and newly formed ice sparkles with crystalline dazzle.  Sometimes high ice clouds dim the solar disk to a pale ghost, but often the sky is an impossible glaring blue.  Sunglasses may be required.
  • In December, the indoor lights were on by 4pm, now I wait until almost 5:30, and each day edges a bit farther into night.  Soon I will become impatient as I assume the beckoning outdoors has become more temperately hospitable than it actually is.  Late winter and early spring for a casual gardener can be a tediously long season of disappointments.  I must content myself enjoying abstract visual patterns, which abound in ubiquitous contrasts.
Tuesday
Cold sunbeam, hard water,
Sharp rain
Seem incongruous
Are not
Wednesday
  • The perversity of the universe tends to the maximum _ at least as regards individual plans.  A topic like “brilliant”, conceived when mornings were blindingly bright is greeted by days of snow, rain, mist, fog, and dense overcast.  No use trying to convince anybody that dark and gloomy now is much less dark than it would have been in early January.
  • However, the core idea holds.  One or two senses are easily misled.  Morning thermometer readings over the last three days were -2, 13, and 50.  Jumping out into beautiful sunlight was jarringly deep-freeze, heading into depressing rain is warmly enveloping.   Only the wind has remained constant, present via sound indoors or via touch outside.  Perversity adds contrast and interest and excitement to what would otherwise be a dull, logical existence.
Thursday
As I strolled out to pick up the mail delivery, I ran into Ed, clutching a huge thick bundle of the latest deliveries.  “Looks like you have a lot to look through,” I joked.  “Sure hope they’re not all bills.”
“Mostly spring catalogs,” he replied, reshuffling the pile which had started to slip out of his grasp.  “I made the mistake of ordering some bulbs from them last year.  Now there is no end to the offers.”
“Ah, then I am sure I will be faced with the same as soon as I open my mailbox.”
“They time them carefully, I suppose,” he continued.  “By the time you can actually plant anything,  no offers show up.  Right now they’re just feeding dreams and hopes while we sit depressed in our living rooms waiting for spring.”
“Speak for yourself,” I begin.
He cuts me off, “You said you do the same thing.”
“Well, yeah.”
“Just two suckers, trusting the brilliant beautiful pictures.  The sunlight seems as if we could go out and stick them in right now.  The catalogs imply you can put them out as soon as they ship in a month or so.”
“Yeah,” I laugh, “and watch them shrivel up in some late frost so you have to order them all over again.”
“Well, they’re cheap dreams,” he began to walk off.  “Promises that warm days and blooms will be coming along following the longer days and brighter sun and warming soil.”
“Just not for a while …”  I add, taking out my own stack of flyers.
We wave goodbye and head back inside, still marveling at our own unrepentant gullibility.
Friday
  • Thirty degree wind in crystalline Canadian air feels invigorating rather than depressing.  Brilliant sunbeams cast jeweled sparkles on tiny wavelets that support ducks already pursuing mating bonds.  March looms with promises of spring fever, already noticeable in some swelling buds and blushing branches.
  • I need not hurry the season along.  My universe is determined not by what arrives from the outside world, but by how I greet each event and observation.  Today I am fortunate: this sharp wind accelerates my step, this bright dome of immaculate blues clears my senses.  My world feels poised for a new and exciting beginning, and I can only marvel that time has streamed by so quickly.
Saturday
  • Brilliant usually connotes something desirable.  Outdoor life can be marvelous when brilliant sun shines.  Everyone wants to hear that their plan or their child is brilliant.  But, like most of our words and concepts, desirability lies in context rather than attribute.
  • Brilliant sun on endless desert, on vast icefield, on trackless ocean can be horrible.  Eyes are poisoned, skin crisps.  Lacking rain, crops perish.  Life in any niche depends on average certainty, too much brilliance just as fatal as too little.
  • Brilliant people may use their gift to bad ends.  We do not need James Bond villains as reminders that intellectual brilliance without socialization is the definition of evil. 
  • In this age of pasty bling, we have lost sight of context.  Brilliant inventions like atomic bombs or genetic modification or computerized culture may destroy civilization, yet we gasp and applaud at magical flashing demonstrations of achievement.  Brilliant religious or political logical scaffolds built on unprovable or insane foundations cause misery and cult violence.
  • Brilliance can be noble.  However, it must connect to its environment and be harnessed not only by its opposites, but also by surrounding tensions.  Life and consciousness exist as a balanced mesh of necessities.  Untamed brilliance has now become a threat and a curse.    
Sunday
  • Nearly sixty degrees, full sun, low wind, Saturday, and Caumsett Park packed like a rock concert.  It’s good that so many people still appreciate the value of nature _ media seems to believe everyone stays inside on the internet most of the time.  Lots of children riding bicycles, seniors “walking briskly”, everyone enjoying this unusual meteorological gift.
  • Being an old curmudgeon, I slipped away from the crowds and strolled the empty shores of Lloyd Inlet, marveling at the continued destruction of mussel beds.  Spring and summer now start to rebuild what ice has torn to pieces.  Naturally, a brilliant sun blazed low on the horizon, blinding anyone trying to look across the wetlands in that direction.  No matter _ I’m still capable of turning my head the other way.










Sunday, February 14, 2016

Heart

Monday
  • Heart of the winter, here in the heart of Long Island’s North Shore.  Walking here good for the heart, and the end of this week is the festival of hearts.  Take heart, the end of the cold is near.
  • One reason to study another language is to learn about my own.  Words have multiple definitions, and varying connotations depending on context.  Less frequently recognized, words have obscure cultural associations, such as Valentine’s day.  Almost never noticed, each of us carries our own unique entanglements associated with words we use, perhaps, for example, of a loved one who died from a heart attack.  Some words carry more freight than others, and one such is “heart.” 
Tuesday
“A heart once lost is never found”
Meaningless, yet seems profound.
“Be still my heart” a silly phrase
Remains in use, at least in plays
Language poorly mirrors more
One dimension, never four
Yet magically, with hiss and tone
Can make us feel much less alone.
Wednesday
  • For the last few years this particular time of February has involved one heartless snowstorm after another, with a few days in between.  The only difference year to year is how low the temperature between, and how much snow melts.  Once again, another all-day snowfall reminds us that Long Island is the southern boundary of New England.
  • Bundled well, I heartily brave the freezing wind, regardless of the new-fangled (from my perspective) wimpy “wind-chill factor.”  In my day, by golly, we took the temperatures raw!  I experience a certain amount of fun feeling the freeze and enjoying the break of waves at high tide as snow quiets the world except for wind and the mournful, muffled, fog horn at the inlet.  For a few minutes, anyway.
Thursday
“Doing anything special for Valentine’s Day?” I ask Max as we check out of Southdown Market.
“Brenda wants to eat out, of course,” he grimaces.  “So we’ll go have spaghetti somewhere with wine.”
“But that’s wonderful!” I exclaim mockingly.  “With whoopee to follow no doubt.”
“Ah, those were the days,” he smiles.
“They say the earlier memories come back as we get older,” I note.  “For some reason, I’ve been remembering elementary school, valentines, back before political correctness.”
“I’m thinking, but what do you mean ….’
“Oh, you know, we’d all get those cheesy valentines to punch out of perforated cardboard booklets with trite bland greetings and some kind of cheesy animals or cupids or hearts with arrows through them. Used to do it in class, too, sometimes.  Good for motor skills, I guess.”
“Oh, yeah, I remember now.  Seems a century ago in spirit as well as years.  I wonder what they do now? Hearts with arrows seem a little too violent for the public school zeitgeist.”
“No idea.  Do you really care?”
“Nah,” he checks out and heads towards the door.  “I’ve got enough on the plate just handling my spaghetti.”
Friday
  • After a few doses of snow come the shots of cold.  It’s been a warm winter, even to the point of mostly melting all the white stuff before the next batch arrives.  Nature is apparently done fooling around, and temperatures may get below zero for a few days.  The harbor has yet to develop even a skim of ice, so perhaps this will do the trick.
  • Ice coming off gutters always fascinates me, with icicles above dripping onto clear stalactites and stalagmites below.  Sparkles beautifully in the sun, constantly changing shape.  I have been warned that they should be knocked down, lest they damage the drainage system, but it’s held up for over 60 years with no problem so I feel little urgency to go out with a broom.  What I do instead is hypnotically gaze at the spectacle each day, regarding the abstract sculpture as a temporary wonder restricted to this season alone.   
Saturday
  • Poetry and literature can quickly convince us how hard it is to communicate everything.  The main thoughts, of course, come through even in translation.  But connotations, even if exquisitely captured by the writer, often fail to make it through to a casual reader, and almost never survive translation.
  • A word like heart, in any language or use, defines mostly one or two things.  That carries the logic _ anyone knows what is meant by a stopped heart, or even a heart-stopping experience.  Logic easily survives translation, and is grasped by just about anyone. 
  • Connotations are more difficult.  In our culture heart is associated with love, honor, even bravery.  For some, it carries tinges of religious rapture.  And all the historic references _ general and personal _ are associated with those connotations:  chocolate candy for valentine’s day, purple hearts for military wounds, bumper stickers praising certain destinations.  These cannot carry through translation _ they often cannot make it from one generation to another.
  • And then, there are the noises itself, crucial to the final impact of the phrasing.  Rhymes are the most obvious _ heart, art, fart.  But there are more subtle entanglements _ heart sounds a little like hard or hurt.  Heart has the same beat as dirt. 
  • Those artists who carry language to the fringes of comprehensibility _ like Joyce or Pound _ are often hailed as geniuses.  But the fringes of comprehensibility usually contain the least core logic, and are not only difficult to read for contemporaries, but quickly lose all possibility of being understood except by those devoting lifetimes to doing so. 
  • On the other hand, purely logical writing is deadly.  It’s what lawyers specialize in.  Not that a reference to lawyers is particularly relevant here, since very few of them have hearts of any kind.
Sunday
  • “Lowest temperatures in decades” due here for the next few days.  Just to prove it is actually the heart of winter.  Sometimes it seems that weather forecasters must take college courses in “Hysteria 101” and “Panic 203.”  There seems to be no normal situation any more, always drought or flood or freeze or deadly heat.  Tide rises and falls normally anyway, creating these little ice castles as it goes.
  • A romantic would claim that bitter cold and wind on valentines day should lead to more happy snuggling with loved ones.  A cynic would say that cabin fever may result in domestic mayhem.  As far as I can tell, however, it actually makes no difference to anyone at all.  Schedules are set and our insulated culture lets us pursue them unaffected by almost any meteorology that happens along.  











Sunday, February 7, 2016

Renovation

Monday
  • First heavy snowfall marks the beginning of new year psychological renovation.  Ground details are blanketed, only soft patterns of white and stark branches on crystal skies remain.  Now it truly seems the world is ready for renewal.  Sunrise, sunset, even the full moon casting blue shadows distill an unspoiled primal beauty.  Such a mood is only enhanced by harsh chill winds insisting people not linger too long.
  • Being perverse, now that the expectations of winter storms have been fulfilled, I am quite ready for daffodils and robins.  But like any good renovation project, that will take longer than I really want.  We probably have at least a one month of deep winter to go.   My goal now is to greet it with anticipation, rather than endure it with dread.
Tuesday
Fresh coats of paint, deep winter snows
Refocus what we see
For better, worse, or much the same
May never be agreed.
Fine beginnings may require
The loss of what once was
That is progress, we are told,
Conformed to natural laws
But new’s soon old, and in the way
Our racing lives move on
Fresh moments fill our circumstance
Each day unique at dawn.

Wednesday
  • Birds can be observed all year, although an advantage of winter viewing is that they can be almost tamed by a properly positioned bird feeder.  Maybe more than that, the viewer can be tamed by having little else to do.  Sometimes, during renovation, one is forced to observe a bit harder and deeper because normal avenues of excitement are restricted.
  • I rarely take pictures right around the house, or, as here, from inside it.  But when snowbanks block the shoulders of the road, I use our treadmill for walking and am nudged to notice what can be discovered a few yards away from our bed.  Often, it surprises me immensely _ sunset, woodpeckers, beautifully patterned bark.  It is an internal fault that I need such excuses to pay attention to things I usually ignore. 
Thursday
As we met at the library on a drizzly February afternoon, Anne complained “The potholes are back.”
“Yeah, noticed that,” agreed Earl.  “After the fortune the town spent last summer resurfacing the roads.”
“That’s the nature of fixing things that break,” said Sam.  “They just break again.”
“But you expect them to stay new longer than six months.  My kitchen looked newer for almost ten years.”
“And things like park renovation at Caumsett can last for decades.  Lots of decades.”
“The other problem is, I don’t think they do them as well as they should,” continued Earl.  “That park they redid on Mill Dam is a big step down in character from the old one.”
“Which would have been in the water by now, with the storms we’ve had, if they hadn’t done something.”
“Wish they could renovate us,” mused Sam.  “Wish they could renovate me.”
“You could use it.  You do remind me of one of the old roads before they worked on it.”
Friday
  • Nature is the grand renovator.  By summer, these brown flattened reeds will once again be green and upright as if winter storms had never happened.  Foundation roots remain firm and strong, and will soon provide the necessary impetus for spring growth back to verdant glory.  Nature spends solar energy around this harbor to the same effect as humans use cash to update their kitchen.
  • Our perceptions depend on how closely we examine the situation.  For example, this reed patch is a small fragment of the local environment.  And no matter how exactly our memory claims they have been recreated come July, no set of growth is ever precisely as it was.  Again, like our own renovation projects, getting the results necessary require more complexity, time, and resources than we anticipate. 
Saturday
  • Huntington is in one of the older sections of the United States, so it faces some of the same issues that have confronted Europe for centuries (at least when wars were not making such decisions for it.)  When old structures or areas become decrepit and decayed, should they be cleared for reuse or renovated?
  • Razing something to the ground and starting over has a lot of advantages.  It is often cheaper and can use new technology.  Tastes change, as do public and private needs.  Rebuilding confronts the core fact that the people who are alive now are the ones with needs and desires.
  • Renovating preserves links to the past.  That is romantically attractive, and has the virtue of fostering historic civic virtue.  But to work well, it must bind itself to certain rules: thus far and no further.  Such is the terror in living in historically designated houses, for example.  Preservation of patrimony is expensive and while wonderful in concept, inconvenient in application.
  • For various reasons, American culture has generally built in a throw-away manner.  Except for various public edifices, even large buildings and public works were considered temporary.  A town might remain for hundreds of years, but nobody was concerned about the fate of the local hardware store building.  Besides, most people firmly believed their descendants would be living elsewhere in the not so distant future anyway.  Public attitude has leaned toward razing the outmoded and starting anew on the rubble. 
  • As a romantic, I deplore cheap practices.  Towns do not have the resources to perform preservation, so they flatten and start over whenever something requires extensive fixes.  Parks, schools, village centers _ get rid of everything possible and redo at least cost.  Redoing at least cost means the elimination of just about every aesthetic consideration.
  • As a taxpayer, I’m not so sure.


Sunday
  • After two feet of dry blizzard snow had mostly melted away, another foot of wet snow coated everything.  Branches broke, evergreens and shrubs bent low to the ground like penitent monks.  February, after all, is the month in which such things are supposed to happen.  White ground cover is good for the prematurely emerging bulbs.
  • I focus on the beauty of the clean white cover.  Enjoy the exhilaration of crisp clear air.  Marvel at the contrasts provided by bright sky, golden sun, blue shadows.  But, being human, I have a little voice continuing to wish spring would just hurry along a little bit faster.