Spring
arrived suddenly riding four very hot days, a blink from nearly brown bare
landscapes to nearly subtropical lush brilliant colors. Then metrological reality returned.
Complex humans create marvels, make mistakes, socialize
wonderfully, and act badly. Autonomous
humans judge each other nearly randomly _ friends and neighbors dispute our own
crystal clear rationalizations and conclusions.
Azaleas near our front
porch have survived and thrived for more than half a century _ suddenly I feel
pretty old.
Western tradition formulated binary division between soul
and mind. Man’s (sic) soul ruled by ineffable
God, evil devils, unknown impulses, preordained instincts. Mind carefully controlled with reason, based
on facts and logic. Soul and Mind in
constant strife, the defining line between saint and sinner. Freud invented a “more scientific”
subconscious to replace the soul; others followed with differing constructions
of how consciousness worked. Today we
are awash with popular explanations centering on body balance, instinct, genetics,
gut feel, intuition, logic, fact and strange weird fantasies of all sorts. “Sober
Intellectuals” claim we must follow fact and logic. Political discourse proves we do not. The devils are still in the details of
mundane life.
Ferns are usually
among the last perennials to unfold from winter hibernation, but this year they
compete vigorously with everything else.
Technology seems to promise fully rational lives and
societies just around the corner. Like
religious millennia, “just around the corner” recedes constantly. I find myself irrationally happy, angry, sad,
depressed or elated and entertained _ sometimes all of them nearly
simultaneously _ throughout the many moments of each day. Trying to be rational rarely helps. I am, of course, grateful for my mind with
its logic and facts. More of my daily
existence seems concerned with emotions and visions and illogical streams of
consciousness. As for facts, whatever I
may believe is quite frequently challenged by the opinions of others who think
differently _ and by myself as time passes.
Massive fir trees
rerobe in heavy new green each year, somehow surviving impossibly strong winds.
Our universe and umwelt are fractally complex. Even “solid” facts arrive with exceptions and
challenges, resulting from environment and situation. As for
humans and their society _ well, infinity is just plain infinity. That we can agree about anything _ let alone
most things _ is a true miracle. That we
can get along pretty well even without agreeing on many things is an even
greater one.
Modes of thought can be overcome with determination. Monks learn to ignore hunger as warriors ignore
pain. Instinctive behaviors can be reworked. Intuition is constantly modified to allow us
to get along together. Reason becomes
rationalization _ nor is that necessarily a mistake.
Lilac festivals are
nearly as numerous as lilacs themselves.
The few blooms on our backyard specimen are all that are needed for
heady perfume as we walk by.
A half century ago, when I thought as a child, reason
appeared ascendant. Conclusions logically
based on scientific fact would automatically match intuition; truth was a zero-sum
game with one winner. As I aged, gut
feelings often override cold logic. Now
I construct rationalizations to support intuitive decisions. I treasure my intuition as an amalgamation of
experience into quasi-instinct. My “fight
or flight” reaction when I see a tiger is well underway before I logically enumerate “this is big animal. With teeth.
Claws. Run!”
Leaves are even more
miraculous _ and sometimes more beautiful _ than blooms. Because they are so numerous we sometimes
take them much too much for granted.
Intuition is often correct.
Pretending that all we need is more education, more facts, more logic _
and then agreement will descend as manna from heaven is just another utopian
fantasy. I don’t claim to know an
answer. However, I will say that lately
I am more likely to trust my “gut” than pure logic. Rather, I view both as equally fallible. Whether I make a snap moral judgement or
follow a thread of thought to a logical conclusion, I know I must recheck
conclusions in the other mode. Even when
both sides of my reasoning agree, I mistrust myself. Perhaps that paralyzes my actions at
times. Or, perhaps, that feeling itself
is only a rationalization of aging .
Breathless
displays of dogwood float everywhere to convince us how inadequate we are
compared to the expansive beauty of this season.
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